I often get asked what the definition of a Mommy Master is. The answer actually lies within oneself since everyone has a different definition of what make them a successful parent. Let me start off by saying that no one is truly a Mommy Master every day of their life. Some days we succeed at motherhood and other days, not so much. There are times when we feel on top of the world because our kids ate all their vegetables, listened, napped and said please and thank you without prodding. Other days, we feel defeated because we couldn’t fit in a shower, never got around to folding that load of laundry that has been sitting in the dryer for 2 days, made leftovers again, yelled at our kids and had no patience. Just as in life, you never know what the day will bring and the same rule applies to parenthood. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world and we need to give ourselves a break, and recognize when we do have those incredible rewarding moments, no matter how insignificant they may seem. These are the moments that make us Mommy Masters!
Some moms we know consider themselves supermoms and try to do it all, while making it look effortless. Other moms admit they are an absolute mess and struggle from the time they wake up to the time they head to bed. No matter what type of mom you are and for the record, there is no one type that is better than the other, motherhood is challenging to EVERYONE! I say if you show your children love and support, teach them how to be good people with good manners, and have their utmost best interest at heart, you are doing great! All the other items we strive to check off our “do to” list are just items and can always wait another day, even though we tend to think the world is going to end if they don’t get completed. I am definitely guilty of that!
Everyone’s lives are different, which means we each experience our own challenges. One person’s downfall may be another’s strong point. One mom’s definition of a successful day at parenting might be considered a failure to another. Whatever makes you feel accomplished as a mother, whether big or small, makes you a Mommy Master. It is very important not to compare yourself to your best friend or the mom down the block who always looks amazing with her make up on, her hair blown straight, and whose kids are always dressed perfectly and are well behaved. For all you know, her house may be an absolute mess and she probably bribed her children with chocolate for breakfast. My point is don’t let looks deceive you, because you never know what is really going on in someone else’s life. Create your own standards to live up to and remember to keep them realistic.
So what kind of accomplishments qualifies you to be a Mommy Master? EVERY SINGLE ONE! If you got everyone out of the house on time this morning, you are a Mommy Master! If your kids said they loved you today, you are a Mommy Master. If you were able to put on some make up today, you are a Mommy Master. If your child told you that you are the best mom, you are definitely a Mommy Master. If you were able to get the kids fed, bathed and put to bed on time, all on your own, while your husband was out of town, you are a Mommy Master. If you are a single mom and are conquering parenthood all by yourself, you are a Mommy Master. If you worked a full day at the office and still managed to cook a gourmet meal for your family, you are a Mommy Master. If you worked a full day at home taking care of the kids and still managed to cook a gourmet meal, I’d say you are a Mommy Master. If you were able to check off one item off your “To Do” list today, you are a Mommy Master. If you hired a sitter and decided to treat yourself to a pedicure, you are a Mommy Master! The list goes on and on… The message here is that whatever feat you accomplished today, big or small, has an impact on you as a mom and you should feel proud. Give yourself credit when credit is due and a pat on the back from time to time…you deserve it!
So what about the days where you would like to request a do-over, or admit you would not be winning the “parent of the day” award? How do you handle the feeling of failure? On a day you may not feel like a Mommy Master, don’t beat yourself up about it. Even recognizing that you have these feelings makes you a Mommy Master and a great parent. Being a Mommy Master isn’t just about celebrating the positive events of motherhood, but being able to recognize the negative ones. Sometimes it’s worth exploring, making changes and discovering what you could have done better, and other times it’s telling yourself you did your best and simply realizing that having a bad day is normal, expected and acceptable. If you think that every day you are going to succeed at being a mom, a wife, and a friend, you are going to be disappointed. We tend to think that everyone around us is watching and grading our parenting report card but the truth is that no one is judging your parenting skills but you, and you are your toughest critic. Reward yourself when you have done a great job and be able to recognize when you could have done it better. There’s always tomorrow and tomorrow brings a new day.
I call myself the Mommy Master, not because I know everything there is to know about parenting and not because every day is filled with victories in my house, but because every day I strive to be the best I can be. Some days I succeed and other days I fail miserably, but regardless of the report card I may give myself, I love my children madly, provide them with the best tools I can to help guide them in life and truly enjoy watching them grow and flourish. With support from other moms, we can share the good with the bad, teach each other, learn from each other, and be the best moms we can be. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a fellow mom and share your struggles. Just because she may seem like she has everything under control doesn’t mean she actually does. You may even be surprised to find out she is having the same issues as you or perhaps even having a worse day. No one is going to think you are a bad parent because you admit your children are driving you nuts one day or if you tell them you feel like screaming and walking out the door. Anyone who tells you parenthood is 100% peachy is lying! Raising a child really does take a village and together we can master motherhood!
You could be the next Mommy Master of the month. Head to http://www.facebook.com/mommymasters, become a fan by clicking “Like”, and share what accomplishment, big or small, made you feel like a Mommy Master. If chosen, you will have the opportunity to be featured on Facebook, along with your blog and/or facebook page URL.