SAY WHAT YOU WANT! Ways to Have a Perfect Mother’s Day!

Originally Written for

logoMay 2013 Print Issue

(To see original article, click on logo above)


Mother’s Day is quickly approaching, which means many of us moms are creating our lists and dropping hints left and right.  Similar to Valentine’s Day, there is all this pressure to have the perfect day and receive the perfect gift, but what exactly does that mean?

mothers-day-icon2Mother’s Day is all about celebrating women as mothers, and recognizing all the hard work we do.  It’s a day to put ourselves first, when we normally place ourselves last.  We deserve to get a gift that we love and actually want, right?  We should expect our spouses to be creative and think outside the box, yes?  They should come up with plans for the day that will prove how well they know us and how much they appreciate us, correct?  Well…we would like to think so but in reality, not so much.  Not to worry though because this year, you are going to receive everything you hoped for and more, whatever that may be!

Discovering what we want is the easy part, but actually getting it can be the challenge.  Some of us might have the perfect earrings picked out or an eye for those sandals we have been stalking online, while some of us are content with a homemade card from the kids and a hot bath with no interruptions!  No matter what it is you’re seeking this Mother’s Day, your hubby is going to be in the know and deliver.  I’ll show you how.

It’s all about communication, so don’t try and beat around the bush. If you want something, ask for it.  You all know the saying, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”  Well…yes, in fact you do.  Here is an example of the correct way to get your message across to your spouse. “I wish I had a new pair of gold hoops.  I think I saw some really nice ones at (insert store name here).  If you’re looking for gift ideas for me, that would be a great one!”  That was clear, concise and even included the name of a store where your husband is able to find them.  No guessing game there.  Here is a bad example that will pretty much guarantee you will not be receiving those gold hoops this Mother’s Day!  “I hate my gold hoops…they are so old, don’t you think?” Yes, this is a hint, but if you’re man isn’t really tuned in, it will go in one ear and out the other.

Talk to your spouse about what your ideal Mother’s Day looks like.  My husband always asks me what I want to do on Mother’s Day and what gift I need or would like, to ensure it’s a flawless event.  Some women might prefer a bit of mystery and surprise, but his way pretty much eliminates the disappointment factor.  Oh and he always throws in a gift I didn’t expect, but love!  If you say you don’t want anything for Mother’s Day, but secretly hope your husband takes that to mean you DO want something, you are gambling.  Depending on your husband’s personality, and how well he really knows you, you literally might not get anything, or he will discover your reverse psychology tactic and run to the store.  Say what you mean and don’t confuse your man!

Some husbands think they have to spend a lot of money to come up with a gift their wives would love.  NOT TRUE!  It’s all about feeling appreciated and feeling that your significant other “gets” you.  If you don’t have anything in mind for Mother’s Day, don’t go searching for gift ideas just because a date on the calendar suggests otherwise.  Your significant other will be just as confused and you will end up with a gift that you will for sure need to return.  If you truly don’t want anything, again, communicate that to your husband and let him know that a brunch outing to your favorite spot and maybe some alone time is exactly what you are seeking.

Another great line of communication between hubby and you are the children.  Most likely, they will learn about Mother’s Day at school.  In fact, the Mother’s Day projects they will come home with are truly the best gifts, especially at the pre-school age!  Talk to your children about the meaning of Mother’s Day and let them know what your ideal day would look like, and include gift requests!!! Kids remember EVERYTHING and like to share their thoughts, as we all know, so they will surely be running back to Dad with the info…mission accomplished.

Receiving a home made gift or card from your little ones is priceless.  Personally, I would rather get something I know came from their heart and that they worked hard on, versus some random gift my husband purchased on behalf of them, just so he wouldn’t be empty handed.  If your hubby isn’t’ the creative type, even supplying him with paper and markers for the kids will create something just as special as if he took a trip to a crafts store and went all out.  Remember that it’s not just about the gift but the thought that goes into it, especially when the kiddies are involved.  It’s also a great bonding time between Dad and the kids.

Make it simple for your mate. Print out pictures of items you crave and either e-mail it to him, so he can’t use the excuse that he lost the piece of paper, or leave it on his pillow for him to see.  It might be a bit forward but you know your partner best and whether this method will be effective.  I actually e-mail my husband my honey do list, so I know he actually received it, read it and can always find it to reference.  Works every time and gets the tasks done!

Whether you skywrite your wish list, have an actual conversation, or utilize your little ones, express your wants, desires and needs this year for Mother’s Day.  It’s the one day that everyone is actually listening, and the one time it’s all about YOU!  Take advantage of it while you can.

Wishing all you fabulous moms out there a wonderful Mother’s Day.  I hope it’s exactly what you envisioned!


P.S.  This year, Mother’s Day falls on May 12th, and my birthday is on May 13th, so my poor hubby is probably losing sleep over planning the perfect double celebration with the perfect gifts.  Actually, probably not. 🙂


Thanks for reading,

Ellie, The Mommy Master®