Uncovering your Parenting Success

purple-mother-and-child-mdBeing a parent is truly amazing for various reasons.  When you really put in the time and effort to parent in an effective way, it can be mind blowing.  As my children are getting older and developing personalities, it’s really cool to see myself in them.  To know there is someone out there that thinks like me, acts like me and yearns for the same things I do, is such an unbelievable feeling.  With this information, there is an opportunity to parent in a way that is not only effective, but quite amazing.

This is a time to connect with your child on a level that is so close, it’s almost like going back in time to when you were a child.  How did your parents react to certain situations?  Were you happy with the outcome?  Did you wish they had handled certain situations differently?  When you were a child and had the same thoughts as your child is having at his age, what did your parents do?  Did they create an environment that felt safe and inviting for open communication?  Did you feel understood?  As I always say, if you can step outside yourself for even a few seconds while parenting, you can think more clearly, which in the end, will lead towards more successful and positive results.  As you talk with your child, think back, and be that parent that you either had, or wished you had.

Measuring the success of parenting comes in many forms.  When my children are happy, laughing and smiling, I feel the same way.  When they are sad and hurting, I hurt as well.  I am attached to them in a way that allows me to understand their emotions and their needs.  When you conquer the hard parts of parenting, like dealing with tantrums or getting through to a child, the feeling of accomplishment is like no other.  There is no perfect parent and a lot of it is trial and error.  Are there times I feel like running out the door pulling my hair out? Of course, otherwise I would not be normal or truthful for that matter.   Whenever my children are having a moment, I have learned to stay calm, collected, patient and sympathetic, enabling me to think clearly and quickly.

I am sharing these thoughts with you because when there is a true bond and connection with your child, it is truly magical.  When you discover you have the tools to change a situation as a parent to a more positive outcome, the sky is the limit.  If your parenting style or a certain way you approach situations with your children is simply not working, try something else.  Experiment until you find that piece to the puzzle and when you do, celebrate your success.  When a child feels his parent understands him, he will share his fears, his dreams and his triumphs when he is five, and when he is fifteen, twenty five and beyond. This is not about you; it’s about your child.  Parenting is a selfless act but when you discover the best parenting style that works, the reward for both of you is tremendous.  Get to know your child, understand his thoughts, and how you felt when you were his age.  Utilize what you liked and may not have liked about how your own parents parented you.  There is no roadmap for parenting and certainly no instructions to follow.  Just as if you landed a big deal at work that you have been slaving over for months, when you feel you have connected and broken through to your child, it’s a feeling that you did it and you can do anything!  All parents make mistakes and we don’t always choose the right path.  Be the best parent you can be today.  Think about the affect your actions and reactions will have on their lives, both in the present and in the future.  Be passionate about parenting and take an interest in who your child is.  They will thank you for it later on in life!