No, I am Not Trying for a Girl so STOP ASKING!

If I had a dollar for every person that questioned me about the sex of my children and had an opinion on my non-existent future child, I would be sitting on my private beach with a delicious cold cocktail in my hand waiting for my personal chef to deliver my lunch. BUT…sadly I don’t, so I am sitting in my house writing this article drinking a glass of water, trying to find some time to make my lunch.

G-d gave me three fabulous boys, ages three, six and eight, whom I adore. I absolutely love having three boys but apparently, other people seem to have an issue with it.

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What is the deal with people being so concerned with the sex of other people’s children? I simply don’t get it. Literally on a daily basis, these are the top comments I receive from complete strangers and people I know.

  • Are you trying for the girl?
  • Wow, three boys…good luck!
  • You didn’t get that girl huh?
  • You seriously need to have a girl.
  • When are we going to hear you’re pregnant with a girl?
  • You must be so upset you didn’t get that girl! Next time.
  • Did you always want a girl when you were younger?
  • Guess there won’t be any Daddy’s girl?
  • You must hate shopping for boys? The clothes are so boring.
  • It’s a good thing you don’t have girls because you are such a boy mom (whatever that means).

I could go on but you get the point. To summarize, they are inappropriate, obnoxious, dumb and ridiculous comments!

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Let me break it down for you. How do you think it makes my kids feel when you are basically telling them they should have been girls? They must wonder, “What is wrong with being a boy?” or “Did my mom want a girl instead of me?”

If there is one thing I have learned in my 38 years, people say really stupid things. I know people don’t mean ill will and are just trying to be friendly, spark conversation and are just thinking out loud, but please don’t think out loud. In fact, don’t think at all…just smile and move on.

Do you really believe you are telling me something news breaking that I have never heard before? Why do you feel you have the right to tell me what gender of child I should or need to have?

I love being a mom to boys and to answer everyone’s question, no, I am not dying to have a girl. If I did have a fourth, which my husband has clearly stated will not be happening unless some other man is the father, (hall pass?), I would actually love another boy. Would a girl be wonderful and different? Of course, but I don’t think about why I don’t have girls on a daily basis or ever, so neither should you.

I truly wouldn’t even know what to do with a vagina, despite the fact that I have one. I can barely keep up with my own shoe needs (obsession), so I cannot imagine managing my daughter’s wardrobe as well. My oldest son literally has one pair of sneakers, a pair of flip flops and soccer cleats.

Oh and by the way, I think there are plenty of adorable boys clothes out there. Yes, I do admit to glancing at the little girl’s outfits but it’s just a glance and that’s it. I buy my boys cool clothes and while they insist on looking homeless most days, the unstained and matching look is an option I provide for them in their closet.

Some people tell me I am lucky to have boys because their daughters are moody and full of drama. I say, “no thank you”. My husband would tell you one moody female in the house is enough, and I agree. (I hope he is referring to our dog but something tells me he is not).

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Yes, my boys can be dirty, gross, fart loving, inappropriate human beings, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I chase lizards, hunt for ants to feed the lizards, know more than I should about the male genitalia, get asked why my boobs are hanging low and get told at cuddle time I desperately need to shave my legs.

I will tell you that it’s true what they say about boys loving their mama. They kill roaches when Dad is away and tell me I am the best cook in the whole world. My six year old asks if he can brush my hair and my eight year old insists on giving me a weekly massage, (which I will tell you is AMAZING!)

I am so content with the sex of my children and honestly never wonder what life would be like if my boys were girls. Have I ever thought about what a little girl (in addition to my three little men) would look like and what kind of mother I would be to her? The answer is yes, but it’s a private thought and one I don’t feel the need to have to address or explain on a daily basis to people.

My reaction to people’s comments used to be a smile and uncomfortable laugh. Now I tell them the truth. Some days if I am feeling spunky, I will test out my comedy act. Some people don’t laugh but I secretly do.

  • Nope, I love my boys and wouldn’t have it any other way.
  • Boys are the best…didn’t you get the memo?
  • I don’t need the girl when I have three beautiful and healthy children.
  • Thank you for your concern but we are happy with what we have.
  • My dog is a girl so two vaginas are plenty.
  • At least we don’t have to pay for any weddings.
  • Boys adore their moms!
  • At least we don’t have to worry about our non-existent daughter appearing on 16 and Pregnant.
  • How can anyone be upset about having three beautiful healthy children?

Did you chuckle? Come one…a little bit? So I shouldn’t change careers and become a comic?

Moving on, when I see a family with three or more kids of the same sex, guess what I say? NOTHING! If they make a comment to me, then I engage and say the opposite of what they have been hearing, which I imagine is refreshing.

“Isn’t is so nice being able to pass down toys and clothes?” “They must all love playing together”. “What a beautiful family”. Did I mention anything about a child of an opposite gender that doesn’t exist? Did I ask if the parent wished they had a different child in front of the child they do have? NO.

I know deep down people are just being friendly (nosy) and making conversation and I get that. Even so, it’s really annoying to be asked all the time if I am trying for the girl. If I am pregnant, which I don’t see happening in my future, I will let you know and you can make additional inappropriate comments like the ones I heard when I was pregnant with my third. For example, “You’re having a boy? That’s too bad you didn’t get your girl”. Really? No explanation needed from me on that one.

People, I have said it before and I will probably have to say it again many times. I love and enjoy being a mom to three boys and do not wish life had dealt me a different hand. Please be aware of what comes out of your mouth!

Oh and while we are on the topic of keeping your thoughts to yourself, please stop telling me I look tired. No sh*t Sherlock! I guess the pound of cover up I caked on this morning didn’t do its job but thank you for telling me I look horrible. My husband is out of town all week, I was up until 1AM, and oh yah, I have three boys! 🙂

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TOGETHER WE CAN MASTER MOTHERHOOD!™