A Look Back…a Year of Frustrating Parenting in Review:

Parenting is frustrating and that’s a fact.  Our children make choices that often leave us scratching our heads, pulling our hair out and feeling the need to visit the local mental hospital.  If you have ever felt like the crazy woman in the image below, you are not alone! (Yes, that crazy woman is me).

 

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Here is a year in review of my parenting frustrations:  Enjoy!

 

Will my kids EVER get in the car when I ask them to?

Let’s just say my hopes aren’t too high.  It must be Groundhog Day because every morning, I have to beg my kids to get in the car, instead of standing around the car.  Once they are finally in, I have to beg them to get in their seats and then have to beg for seat belts.  Really?  Didn’t we do this yesterday and the day before and the day before that…?  The same struggle goes for getting out  of the car.  ARGH!

I actually heard my neighbor ask her son repeatedly to get in the car this morning and as he just stood there, I smiled and chuckled, not because I was happy to see her struggle, but because only a few minutes before, I had the exact same conversation with my kids.  We both agreed, as we drove off to take our kids to school, that they are just not getting it and probably never will.  It was nice to know that another mom was experiencing the same frustration as I was at the exact same moment, and we could find the humor in it.  Sometimes there is nothing else to do but laugh.

Why is it inevitable that during every meal out, my three year old has to take a 30 minute poop?

Did I mention he happens to deliver his usual, “Mommy, I have to make a doodie” speech right as my meal is arriving?  When I come back, seven hours later, my food is cold.  ARGH!  What is it about restaurants that causes him to have to destroy their bathrooms?  I seriously think his goal is to try out every toilet in town.

I’ve actually had many chefs and restaurant staff ask me if my son is okay, considering we disappear for large spans of time during our meal.  I sit in the stall and ask him over and over and over again, “Are you done yet?”, and the answer is always “NO”.  As he plays with the toilet paper, shares his philosophy on doodie and yells at me to stop looking at him, I remind him we did not go out to dinner to sit in the bathroom.  At that moment, I want to have a tantrum, and kick and scream, so we can get out of there, but I have no choice but to wait.  Pure torture!

Why don’t kids have any patience? 

Whenever my kids ask me for something, whether it’s for a glass of water, to wipe their butts or to tie their shoes, I am expected to do it NOW, not in 2 minutes, not when I am done finishing what I am currently doing, but right NOW, right this second.  Jeez…get some patience kiddies!  I love though when ask them to do something, I either get ignored and have to repeat myself several times before it actually gets done.  ARGH!  What’s up with that?

It’s almost as if my kids are going to explode if something they are asking me to do doesn’t get done immediately.  “Get me this.” “I want that.” “Give me this.” “I need this.” Clearly my “Mommy is very busy so sometimes you need to be patient” speech didn’t resonate so well.  Apparently, neither did my, “I am only one person and you can’t all ask me to do something at the same time” lecture.  My favorite monologue I deliver is the “when you all do what I ask without me having to repeat myself 100 times, then I will get you what you are asking for in a promptly manner.  Until then, you will have to wait.”  I will tell you, it does make them stop and think.  “You know what I want?  I want you boys to give me more than a millisecond to get you a cheese stick.  I want you to respond to me like you expect me to respond to you.  Practice what you preach…remember that speech kids?”  You guessed it…they never seem to remember that speech or any other one for that matter.

Do kids realize that we only have two hands?

My kids and I spend a lot of time in the car as their school is 20 plus minutes away.  I make sure to bring plenty of drinks and snacks to keep them busy but they often forget that I am doing something called driving.  “Mommy, can you open this?”  “Mommy, can you hand me my drink?” “Mom, look at this.”  REALLY?  If I have one hand on the wheel and one hand passing a juice box back to you, how can I also turn around, look at the scratch on your leg AND put on a DVD for your viewing pleasure? ARGH!

I am beginning to think that my kids literally have no clue what it means to drive a car.  I also love that when we return home and exit the car, I end up carrying 20 items into the house while they have both hands free.  To make it worse, they clearly see my hands and arms full of snack garbage, leftover drinks, school art work and my purse, yet ask me to “hold this”.  Um…your backpack, you hold it.  Anyone want to lend a hand, literally?  Anyone?

Is is that hard to remember to say “Thank You”?

Apparently it is.  How many times do I need to remind my kids of those two simple words.  The broken record that keeps skipping says, “When someone gives you something, gets you something, does something nice for you, compliments you, completes a task you demanded requested, you immediately say, ‘THANK YOU’.”  You are thanking them for doing something for you…pretty simple people.  Did someone hold the door for you?  Say, “thank you”.  Did a waitress bring you extra ketchup?  Say, “thank you”.  Did someone say they liked your shirt?  Say, “thank you”.  SAY IT!!!”

For some reason, it does not stick.  I find it ironic that my kids correct other people who don’t say, “thank you”, but don’t seem to get that it should come from their mouth as well.  Frustrating to say the least!  ARGH!

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I could go on and on with examples but I’m pretty sure you already know what they are because you experience them on a daily basis.  The fact that I am telling you parenting is frustrating is not groundbreaking news.  If you don’t know that by now, you are either lying or taking way too much Xanax.

In any case, we love our kids so much, flaws and all, we are willing to take the risk.  We are willing to put ourselves on constant repeat and be on the brink of checking ourselves into a mental hospital at any moment, to reap the benefits of being called Mom and Dad.

Sure those titles bring utter and constant aggravation but they can also be pretty magical.  When you hear the words, “I wuv you” from your two year old or “Mom, you’re my best friend” from your six year old, it makes it all worth it…at least for those five seconds until you hear, “Get me a snack”, “you’re mean” and the ever popular, “I hate you”.

Wishing you Happy Parenting, Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year!

TOGETHER WE CAN MASTER MOTHERHOOD!™