Mommy Brain: Anyone seen my keys?

keyfob-2-2Listen up moms…I have an important announcement to make but don’t let it get you down. Mommy Brain is not something that disappears after your pregnancy is over. I know…it’s hard to hear, but it’s a truth we all have to accept. I have three children…enough said.

There is not a day that goes by where I don’t misplace my phone (I worship you Apple for inventing “Find My iPhone”), lose my keys or walk into the pantry wondering why the hell I am even there.

Yes, I could use more sleep and I’m sure that would help lower the zombie like feeling I am blessed with every morning, but not happening. There are only so many hours in a day. I cannot be faulted because I am a mom like you, which means I am selfless and always worried about everyone else.  You can’t blame us for being forgetful!

In regard to my keys, I am officially declaring war on key fobs. Yep, you heard it here first. Whoever invented it clearly did not have kids! Like I need one more thing to keep track of. How can I tell my kids to be responsible with their items when I can never find mine?

Sadly enough, misplacing things, especially my keys, is not only a daily event but a multi daily occurrence. It gets to the point where I have to attempt to lock my car from the outside just to see if my key fob is inside the black hole that lives inside my purse? My husband asks me multiple times a day, “Why don’t you put your keys in the same place so you know where they are”. Well…that would be too easy and who has time for that. ?

I miss the old days of putting my keys in the key hole so you know where they are at all times…in the ignition! You get to your destination and bam, you pull the keys out and there they are…right in your hand.  We had to get all fancy and new age and give ourselves a freakin’ button to press. The keys? Who knows where they are. Am I sitting on them? Did I leave them next to the car seat when I strapped my son in? Did I throw them in my purse?  I DON’T KNOW!!!!

What sparked this anger? How did I get this fed up? This morning I had an incident and it was my breaking point. Luckily as a mom, I have learned to switch gears on a moment’s notice. I have been trained how to avoid panic mode and go straight into solution mode. If you’re having a bad day, I bet my morning was worse than yours!

So… I took the boys to the bus today as I do every day and due to this morning’s zombie mode, went in my PJs. Thank g-d I put a bra on.

Every morning, I have to go on the bus and make sure my youngest, who is four, is strapped in. Usually I leave my car running with the keys in it while I get everyone settled on the bus, but today for some reason, I took my keys with me while leaving the car running (this step saved me).

As the bus pulled away and I waved for the last time and said my goodbyes to all the other moms in their PJs, I noticed my dashboard was flashing, “No key fob detected”. OH SH*T…I left my keys on the  bus.  Say it ain’t so. NOOOOOOOO! Okay, think, think, think.

I didn’t have time to freak out (okay I was silently freaking out a little bit) and the bus was out of sight. I called my son who is 10 and he and his friends were immediately on the case. He had confirmed my keys were sitting on a seat, lost, sad and confused. The fact I could call him confirmed I made the right choice in getting him a phone at such a young age. Emergencies only, I always say and this was an emergency!

Okay, at least the keys weren’t lost, but my feeling of victory was soon taken away as I realized I was now locked out of my house. Awesome! Wait, I gave my handyman an extra set of my keys a few months ago. At least I never turned my car off so I crossed my fingers and hoped my faithful minivan would let me drive it without its’ master? I drove to my handyman’s house, careful to remind myself not to turn the car off when I went to ring his bell. Luckily he was home and had my key. Meanwhile, it turned out the kids left the back door unlocked when they took the dog out this morning so I would have gotten in anyway.

As I was on my way home I thought, “Do I leave my car on all day?”  “How am I going to get to my appointments?” “How am I going to pick up the kids later?” Then  I saw it…my next solution. My husband’s car was still sitting in front of the house, which meant someone must have picked him up for his fishing trip. Please tell me he has an extra set of keys.  BOOM…found them in his nightstand. WOO HOO!

Someone was looking out for me today for sure!  Even so, I want to start a movement to ban all key fobs. I am so sick of misplacing my keys. How can I pay attention to my metal friends and Mr. Keyfob when I have three kids all calling my name at the same time, always asking me to hold all of their crap, fighting with each other, whining…you know how it goes.

I just had to share my story because some days are crappy days, but we have to find the humor in it all, otherwise we won’t survive. Yes, my kids make fun of me for losing everything and yes, I clearly don’t practice what I preach to them in this case, but I am not concerned with all of that.

What I am teaching them is how to handle a crazy situation. I am showing them that when we don’t panic, we can think clearly and get ourselves out of a sticky situation, like mine this morning,

Join me in spreading the word about my key fob initiative by sharing this post. Use #BanTheKeyFob on social media and share your stories. Together we can stop this madness! ?