Here’s the deal. We have all been hypocrites at one time in our lives but when it comes to parenting, it can happen quite a bit, without us even realizing it.
- How many times have you told your child to be a leader and not a follower?
A LOT! We tell our kids to be their own person and to make good decisions for themselves. Remember the ever so popular, “if your friend jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?” We hope the answer is no, BUT…and here is where the hypocritical part comes in… when it works to our advantage as a parent, our kids can be followers all they want.
- “It’s freezing outside and you need to wear pants, not shorts. None of your friends at school will be wearing shorts so wear pants please.”
- “Mommy paid for soccer lessons so you can play, not to hold onto my leg. Look at all your little friends playing. See, they are not being shy and sitting with their mommies! Go be part of the team and play with your friends.”
- “Thank you for telling me about your brother’s behavior at school, which I would not have known about. I really appreciate you being my eyes and ears when I am not around. I am however upset that you got in trouble at school again for being a tattle tale. Sometimes, it’s best to just mind our own business.
See my point?
2) How many times have you told your child to “STOP DOING THAT” and they don’t listen?
A LOT! As parents, it is so frustrating to repeat ourselves over and over with no results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Yes, parenting can absolutely make us feel insane for sure! What about when our kids tell us to “STOP IT”, and we don’t listen?
- “Mom, you are embarrassing me…please stop…do not kiss me in front of my friends…how many times do I have to say it.”
- “Mom, stop touching my hair…I want to style it the way I like it…stop….let me do it”.
- “Mom, this is my school project, let me do it…no stop…I want to color it my way.”
See my point?
3) How many times have you told your kids to stop playing that game and get off the phone?”
A LOT! Our kids expect us to practice what we preach but it is not always an easy task. While we are adults and they are kids, we can often be guilty of not being able to disconnect when we should.
- “Mom, get off your phone…I need help with my homework…hello…MOM!”
- “Mom, did you even hear what I said or are you checking your Facebook page for the 80th time today?”
- “Boys, give me two more minutes…promise….just finishing up an e-mail.”
See my point?
Parenting is hypocritical…plain and simple. In a particular moment and situation, some of the tools we use to parent our children end up making us contradict ourselves to get a point across.
“Why did you call that guy who cut you off a jerk but tell us if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all?”. “Why are you allowed to say a word if we are not allowed to say a word?” “Why did you promise to let us watch a movie and now you are telling us it’s too late?” “How come we are not allowed to lick the gravy on our plate, but you just did it?” “Why did you just tell the women at the water park who asked you if I was six or under that I was, when I am really seven? Doesn’t that make you a liar?”
Our kids call us out for sure and at times they are right. Instead of scrambling for an answer, here’s my response to that:
“Parents aren’t perfect either kiddos! We get frustrated and say bad things sometimes, we make promises we intend to keep but sometimes life gets in the way. It is important to remember that we are the parents and you are the children, which means there are certain expectations we have from you. As the parents, we have to ensure you get enough sleep, teach you consequences for your behavior and we do the best we can.”
Parenting is so hard, confusing and yes, hypocritical! We use tactics that may not be 100% kosher but we need to ensure our kids don’t freeze when it’s cold outside and don’t spend too much time on their electronics and get addicted like us. We try and sneak in that kiss, even though we know it’s not wanted. We do it anyway because we want to soak in every snuggle, smooch and hug before they grow up. If that means being a follower for a day, telling little white lies, being a control freak and yes, being hypocrites, so be it!
TOGETHER WE CAN MASTER MOTHERHOOD!™